Drugs can be a magical thing. (They can also be a very dangerous thing, but let’s focus on the magical part right now.) Sex is also a magical thing. It only makes sense to sometimes combine these two magical things to try to have one especially magical experience, but it doesn’t always work like that.
You might not know that true aphrodisiacs don’t exist; there’s not one food, drink or drug that universally makes people horny – not even oysters. What do exist are anaphrodisiacs – substances, like medications, hormonal contraceptives and other drugs, that kill sex drive, or at least cause one’s body to not be sexually aroused. A lot of prescription drugs, like ones for treating anxiety and depression, are anaphrodisiacs, but so are a lot of recreational drugs.
I know what you’re thinking, “What’s this bitch talking about? I’m so horny when I’m drunk and/or on drugs!” That may be true for your mind, but your body, on the other hand, is not so horny. You’ve probably heard the expression “whiskey dick,” and, if you’ve ever smoked weed before, you’ve probably experienced “cotton mouth” (not the best situation to be in when your mouth has a job to do). Getting lucky on drugs is still possible, but maybe certain things should be avoided depending on the effects of a given drug. That’s why I’m here to explain the effects of alcohol, marijuana, MDMA, cocaine and shrooms and make some sexy suggestions as to how you can make the most of your magical “sex, drugs, rock and rock” experience. (Spoiler: some of these suggestions don’t include actual penetration…gasp!)
According to the National Institute of Health, four out of five college students drink alcohol, so it’s not a stretch to assume that at some point in one’s college career, sex and alcohol will meet. While it can be fun in the moment, alcohol and sex might not be the best combination. Alcohol inhibits the brain’s decision making process, so it increases your chance of doing something you wouldn’t normally do sober. A little liquid courage never hurt anyone, but I’m more talking about situations when someone is more than six shots deep. “Whiskey dick,” when the guy can’t maintain a boner during sex or can’t have an orgasm, is a real issue.
Not only is not being able to get it up immasculating for a guy, but it make things go south real quick. The girl involved (or other guy) might get offended because it seems like he just isn’t into her enough to maintain a hard-on or orgasm. She might take his limp shlong as a challenge, which could result in a lot of effort and no pay off. She could also get mad because she thought she was going to get it in and she’s actually just left waiting for the Uber that she ordered from his phone to pick her up.
Another issue is beer goggles. Nothing sucks more than realizing the person lying next to you is actually a two when you thought he or she was a strong seven. Even worse, if you’re too drunk, you night not even remember what the person looked like if he or she gets the hell out of there before morning. Plus, that could lead to regret about the life choices you make after an evening at getting way too wasted at Sign…again.
My suggestion? Skip the sex, at least with a random hook-up, when drunk, especially because contraception is often neglected. Go home and get acquainted with your hand; it won’t judge you for not getting off and it will still think you’re beautiful when you’re sober tomorrow.
Marijuana, or, as the kids are calling it these days, weed, is actually legal for those over 21 (and not living in a dorm room) in DC, so if you’re trying to remain a law-abiding citizen, but also want to try mixing sex with drugs, weed is for you.
The effects of weed are different for everyone, but to generalize, after smoking (or ingesting) weed, one might experience heightened sensitivity, altered sense of time, difficulty thinking and restricted use of the body. Some of these effects could make sexual situations even better; some, worse. Heightened sensitivity is the most obvious reason to have sex after smoking, since there’s a lot of touching involved in sex. Touching and fucking will feel better because your body is on high alert. Also, if you’re a quick finisher, smoking might make the interaction seem longer, or it might actually be longer because both parties lose track of time and spend more time on foreplay.
There are downsides to smoking before sex, though. For one, some users don’t feel turned on at all after smoking. Users might also experience paranoia – about getting pregnant, about looking fat, about the homework they opted out of doing to do the nasty instead. Additionally, smokers may experience the reality that is “cotton mouth,” or when the mouth gets super dry after smoking, and, consequently, they’re super thirsty – and not thirsty in the sense that they want to get laid even more. It’s not that sexy to have to stop and drink a glass a water before proceeding with a blowjob.
My suggestion? If you’re in the mood to get it on, skip the oral sex. The lack of saliva will make things difficult, but you shouldn’t refrain from sex when high all together. Don’t miss out on the hyper-sensitivity you’ll experience; just focus more on the touching and fucking and save the licking for later.
Rumor has it sex while rolling is the best sex possible – so good that I’ve also heard to never have sex after doing MDMA because sober sex will never be as good again. This is all assuming that the pair actually has sex, which often isn’t the case. In the MDMA subreddit, there’s a thread about having sex after taking Molly/ecstasy. One user said, “It’s not really even about the actual sex in a way. It’s about being naked and intimate with your partner.” The same user noted that it was difficult to keep an erection and that it’s a better experience with someone you care about oppose to a random hook-up.
“It’s not really even about the actual sex in a way. It’s about being naked and intimate with your partner.”
These sentiments are consistent with other accounts of sex on MDMA that I’ve found and heard. MDMA causes an unnatural release of serotonin, the neurotransmitter that makes you happy. This can lead to long term damage with heavy use, but, in the moment, this causes people to feel relaxed, positive, confident and very sensitive to touch, as well as the other four senses. Taking ecstasy also decreases inhibitions, which makes users more likely to seek out someone to bond with.
My suggestion? Sex on MDMA shouldn’t be sex at all. First of all, why “ruin sex for the rest of your life” for just one experience when, as those who have done it noted, the actual sex isn’t the best part? If you’re rolling, I suggest focusing on doing what feels great, which would be lots of touching, hugging and overall exploration of the body. Don’t get preoccupied with the notion that penetration and orgasm have to happen. MDMA offers a mental stimulation that other drugs might not. You might have some extra dirty (and extra fun) ideas that you’re not intimidated to try, so go with it. It could result in a bonding experience like no other.
Ah, GW students’ drug of choice: coke. Besides the sheer sexiness of doing a line of coke off someone’s ass or tits, sex and coke could be a crazy, energetic experience. Grant Stoddard, a writer for Nerve, wrote an article about having sex on various drugs. He said his dick was “stiffer than a roll of quarters” after snorting coke, and that he wanted to “fuck hard.” Besides the fear of going into cardiac arrest, his experience seemed OK. It was intense, a little rough and very focused. He said it lasted around 20 minutes and that he ended it when he did because of his fear of dying. He described the experience as “alarming.”
My suggestion? Don’t fuck on coke if you get paranoid easily, and don’t fuck on coke if you’re looking for a lasting, intimate experience. Seems to me like this drug would fit really well with GW’s hook up culture.
Honestly, kudos to you if you’re able to have sex while on shrooms. Being able to focus on anything besides the kaleidoscope-like visuals is an achievement in my humble opinion. Stoddard said that sex was not even on his mind – and he took them intending to have sex. A thread on the Drugs subreddit asking about sex on shrooms has a lot of positive replies, but a recurring problem men experienced was difficulty getting an erection, though some didn’t have a problem maintaining one once it was achieved.
Tripping is such a long, intense experience and it’s easy to get distracted from the task at hand (sex) when you’re seeing technicolor Ghandi on the skin of your legs and the mortar between bricks is melting. Also, shrooms usually bring a crazy body high, making it strenuous to do the simplest things, like getting up from the couch. Trying to have sex on shrooms may just be really exhausting.
Often, tripping on shrooms with someone is already a bonding experience – without ever turning sexual. Stoddard said in his article that his girlfriend invited him to “watch the room breath.” They just held each other, kissed and talked.
My suggestion? Try it, but don’t keep trying if it’s not working or if it starts freaking you out. Don’t waste your trip trying to get an erection. Rather, be close to your partner, both physically and emotionally. Talk about your hallucinations and bond on a deeper, non-sexual level.
The Rival at GW is not advocating for illegal drug use. Assume consent in all of these scenarios. Consent is key in every situation, and if you are with someone who is too fucked up on any drug to consent or to remember it the next day, be the responsible person and tuck that person into bed – without you.
“I slept with a younger guy in theatre. It was pretty awkward and there was no chemistry at all. At one point, I told him to him to pull my hair and instead of a sexy tug, he pulled the shit out of it and some of hair definitely came out. He decided that I was going to finish him off with a blow job, no big deal, UNTIL he decided to pull away and cum on my face. No warning. Ever since we’ve been avoiding each other, literally, I just watched him run into an elevator to avoid me as I wrote this.” – The Accidental Facial Queen of 2016, 21
“I was in the middle of receiving a very good blowjob from a nice young lady when my roommate came in. Naturally we tried to make it seem like we hadn’t just been doing what we were doing, but I was slow at covering up, and my roommate goes “Was that a hickey on your penis?” I wasn’t sure but the nice young lady had a look and said “yes, I appear to have given him a small hickey on his nice penis, now get the fuck out so he can put it inside me!” He left. And I put my penis inside her, and was successful at bringing her to orgasm. I think both me and her considered the night an overall success!” – Unfortunately Unfortunate Timing