GW MRA group starts #FreeBronson campaign in response to Pro...

Semi-Colonial | Audrey Whitehurst | April 1, 2016

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WASHINGTON—The George Washington University Men’s Rights Activist group launched an official campaign to address the tyranny of at least two petitions and one scathing Facebook page with the aim to silence the great artist of our generation, Action Bronson. In response to the the onslaught of society-destroying gender terrorists who got our Spring Fling headliner nixed, the MRA on campus began a new social media campaign, inspired by the #FreeKesha movement: #FreeBronson.

Mr. Bronson has come under fire for his lyrical masterpiece “Consensual Rape”, which bull-dog femi-bullies claim glorifies violence against women, but any well-educated young man could clearly tell that the work is referring not to literal rape, but simply rape play, which is fun for everyone involved because it has the word “play” right there.

MRA members and loyal Bronson fans explain lines like “Have her eating dick, no need for seasoning” and “If seven dudes are in the room then she’s pleasing them like a trooper. Hit her in the pooper,” are not indicative of a disrespectful attitudes toward women as the Sniveling Alarmist Social Association (SASA) claims, but rather are a poetic celebration of the complex dynamic of human sexuality.

Supporters of the movement are encouraged to tweet and post their support for Bronson by using the the hashtag #FreeBronson to help fight against the unjust character assassination.  It has led to intense polarization on social media.

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Leaders of the movement have released a list of acceptable replacements of Bronson: Chris Brown, known for his hits on the radio and on Rihanna, Eminem, performer of Hate the Way You Lie, Without Me (you are nothing), and ’Til You Collapse, or the newest passion project from producer Dr. Luke, Ke$ha.

The Program Board has thus far cancelled the performance.  One source close to the organization remarked, “This was not the scandal we were expecting when we hired a white man to perform hip hop.”

This article is satirical in nature.