And GW’s most eligible bachelor is…

Guilty Pleasures | Wynn Hollis | April 7, 2016

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As Luca walks over to me sitting at those weird, portrait tables in J Street, I notice his shorts and tank combo, with the perfect amount of chest exposure for the daytime. He touches his curly brown hair and adjusts his square-frame glasses. He greets me with a “suh dude” and a laugh before getting more serious for the questions.

Luca smiling (softly)
Soft smiles for the win | Photo by Quinn Scanlan

Luca Alexander Silveira was born on March 31, 1997 (so ladies, be sure to wish him a belated happy birthday). If you’re doing the math, that means he’s a freshman, which means you still have another three years to snatch him up. Although he’s Uruguayan and Dutch (which he will tell you all about), he was born and raised in New York City. He was born at Lenox Hill Hopsital, which is the infamous birth place of not only myself, but also the precious Blue Ivy. (Basically, Luca is part of the Beyoncé dynasty by association – I would definitely recommend marrying into the dynasty). The name given to him on his date of birth, Luca, essentially means “bright” or “shining” aka he is a bright, beaming ray of sunshine that no girl can deny.

Luca describes himself as a New Yorker, and you can probably tell upon looking at and talking to him. When asked what ‘kind’ of New Yorker he is, he jokingly replied, “The only kind, which is the best [kind].” For those of you who know their way around New York, Luca lives in Chinatown. His favorite place to go to at home is Shanghai Soup Dumplings, so watch out, ladies because this mans knows some good Chinese food. And good taste in food is always the sign of a perfect guy. Speaking of food, Luca also has only about 100 dollars left of J Street money – savvy!

Luca is in the School of Media and Public Affairs majoring in journalism. However, he said he’s “not an SMPA dick” (we all know one). In 10 years, Luca said he sees himself living “basically anywhere” because of his aspirations as a journalist. Basically, you will have a dope time traveling with him to so many cool places! But ladies, buckle up, because the bachelor also said that he wants around 10 kids (goodbye, body).

Luca on GW Hippo
Isn’t he alluring? | Photo by Quinn Scanlan

In case you girls are interested in astrology, Luca is an Aries. His perfect matches are Geminis, Sagittariuses and Leos. His worst matches are Virgos, Capricorns and Tauruses – if you are any of these, you should probably just go now because this is science. Also, Aries are typically bold, spontaneous and headstrong, and who doesn’t like a man with power? Aries are natural extroverts, meaning Luca is totally down for a ~wild~ night out, and he won’t isolate you two as a couple (so you’ll never be that couple).

I know what you’re thinking: what makes Luca so special from any old Aries? Why did the Guilty Pleasures team pick him?

Well since you asked, some of Luca’s totally cool activities include:

  • Video: he is the CEO of Ohoto Productions (seriously, click on this)
  • Walking briskly
  • Petting dogs on the street
  • Frat life (he’s a brother of Pi Kappa Phi)
  • Lifting

However, as all my ladies know, there is no such thing as the perfect man. Luca says that his probably only flaw is that he is “too much of a lone wolf”. He also says he regrets his handling of schoolwork a bit, but his charm normally gets him out of sticky situations ;). But these are obvi not deal breakers, they just add to his character- duh. To make up for these what some would call “bad” qualities, Luca has to have one last dope thing about him. Go ahead, try and guess it.

Does he have a Ferrari?

Is he a really good kisser??

Does he have a hot bod???

Luca with rose in mouth
Yes. | Photo by Quinn Scanlan

All wrong! He plays the BANJO. And he likes bluegrass. Some girls get turned off by genres similar to country music but, like, to be honest, it’s hot.

By now, I know you’re thinking, “Could it get any better?” The answer is yes. Luca’s ideal first date with a lucky bachelorette would be at a restaurant called Ninja in New York. This is totally not childish; it just shows his goofy side. Who doesn’t love sushi? And ninjas are hot!

So, does this guy have any quirks? Of course! Something ~totally hilarious~ and ~so Luca~ is that he loves ABBA and the Mamma Mia soundtrack. He grew to love them through his “uncle and dad [who] both love ABBA.” But, he specifies, “None of that Mamma Mia movie soundtrack shit, just real ABBA.” (By this, he means, he doesn’t like the actors singing the Mamma Mia soundtrack.) Probably the best part is that his favorite song is Chiquitita. Isn’t he silly?

So ladies, first, pick your jaw back up. There’s only one Luca to go around, but he will be accepting all submissions from girls as of now. For those of you who think you can woo him, his number is +1 (917) 494-7854. Best of luck!