WASHINGTON—While the Supreme Court is hearing arguments regarding whether or not a Texas law places an undue burden on women’s health clinics, a group of feminists are also taking on the important issue of reproductive rights by petitioning Webster Dictionary to change the word “Uterus” to “Uterme”.
The campaign was prompted by male legislatures continued attempt to regulate the public good of baby construction facilitates, known to the non-law making community as the female body. Radical vagina-loving, man-hating feminazis think the term of “uterus” may lead our elected leaders to believe that the female reproductive organ is a shared commodity, rather than an individual’s literal flesh.
To get what they want, the genital conscious, baby-hating radicals are proposing a “girlcott” of any word that includes references to men, their genitals, or their patriarchal hold on the society. Their Womanifesto reads:
“For all of herstory, women have been oppressed by dick-wielding, Y-chromosomal mutants. Our language vaginates the way we interact with our society. That is why we issue this womandate to the Webster Vaginary to change the word “Uterus” to “Uterme”. Those with these organs should be able to control them. We are the ones who womenstrate from them monthly. We aren’t being herstrionic, we just want the same control that those with phalluses receive in regards to their bodies. Signed, the Vagina Owners of the World.”
Webster Dictionary has yet to respond to the controversy, but the Vagina Owners of the World say they won’t give up and will continue to send the dictionary makers full menstrual cups until they heed to their demands.
This article is satirical in nature.